Smell ya latah, Facebook.

That's one big step for Kerry, one small step for humankind.

I did it. Part one of leaving Meta is done.

Last week, I vowed to delete Facebook and had already requested a backup of all my information. Once it came through, I made sure I had what I wanted (it did), and then moved to delete it. BUT WAIT! I had to let my clients know the business page albums would be gone. So I reached out to them via a Facebook post, a newsletter, and then connected that newsletter here so they knew where they could still find me. This was the moment when it felt big and scary because even though I hadn’t deleted Facebook yet, it no longer felt like just talk; it was a plan already in motion. Would this really hurt my business? Could a small photography studio survive without social media? The replies I received were so supportive and lovely.

Good for you, Kerry!! It’s certainly a bold and maybe scary move, but I agree that it doesn’t make as big a difference as people claim. I didn’t find you on any social media. I found you via Google reviews and your website. I stopped using Facebook/Meta a few years ago and it made a noticeable difference in my ability to cope with the ugliness out there. I’m hoping you’ll feel a similar relief without any negative side at all.

This client pointing out she found me through Google was such a delightful smack in the face; I knew most of my clients came from Google/driving by the studio but her saying it really drove it home. This gave me hope.

Congratulations! Love this! We will forge ahead with a new world where we are unchained by social media! Seriously tho..businesses existed before and will exist after. We will all help as needed.

I am where I am today because of clients referring me to their friends. I always thought this was made easier by social media, but perhaps that’s not necessary anymore (banking on it!). This client’s reply reminded me that it can be done, and my village will be there. And I’m there for my village too.

No [you] are NOT crazy. In fact, hopefully many others take your lead and return to more targeted and personal methods of communication. I left social media many years ago when my father, rather than talking to me about his trip to Ireland, referred me to his Facebook page to read about it. My account was deleted within the week and I’ve never looked back. Yes, some people are no longer in my sphere. But my really close friends and I share long honest emails about what’s going on in our lives; my college roommate and I find time between shuttling kids to events for a check-in every few months, and every other year or so some girlfriends and I just get away for a weekend to drink wine and catch up (we used to run a half-marathon together, but wine is more divine!). May your results be similarly beneficial socially and mentally - and may those translate into beneficial assets for your business!

I have always thrived on in person connection. I admit that Covid turned me from a full blown extrovert into a home-bodied slight introvert (of course I’m still a loud mouth but I find that some social interactions don’t fuel me as much as they used to, and some plain exhaust me. This wasn’t always true). Now I am excited for the deeper connections that are headed my way thanks to my deleting the superficial. I wonder actually if the exhaustion was more from being constantly connected than from actual social interactions. And, the above client’s story about her dad? Similar moments have happened so often in my life and it really is downright silly. This morning I had coffee with a client-turned-friend and it was a delight. It actually already gave me an idea for how I can cultivate those deeper connections. More on that later.

I also received replies that show so many folks are feeling the same pull:

Good for you, Kerry! I know I need to do the same thing but I’m not quite ready to cut it cold turkey yet. I know it’s in my future though. It is pure evil, as you said, and truly more negative things come from it than good!! Proud of you for taking the plunge into the world without social media! I’m sure you’ll be better for it!!

You scared me there! Good for you! I ditched social media a while ago too, and I feel so much better.

You got me!! I thought for sure you were going to say you were moving to Germany! I don't blame you for leaving Social Media. If I didn't need it for my job, I would join you. Your Subject Line was marketing gold! You've got to get people to open and read.

I think it's a great idea and you will be fine. But full disclosure: I quit Facebook in like 2017 and deleted Messenger (and with it, any last vestiges of my Facebook account) earlier this year for pretty much the same reasons as you. Rosalie and I don't hire photographers often, but when we do, it's you 100% of the time. And I do read your newsletter emails.

I feel like many of us are feeling the pull to make this big shift in our lives but it’s scary and unknown and HOW WILL WE GET OUR LOCAL INFORMATION?! Maybe I don’t need all that local information.

In this process, I sat down and thought about what I would TRULY miss from Facebook (not Instagram here; just Facebook):

• my local Buy Nothing group. Rare is it that I wanted to take anything offered, but oh boy did it make me happy to offer up old toys/etc for another local family to use and love. Now we’ll have to host a yard sale every year instead of simply posting things on the group as we’re done with them. I loved that.

• Parent information for my childrens’ schools and activities. This is the one area where things might get lost that are important. I don’t really understand why Facebook is the main method for getting in touch with parents, especially since so many folks are off it these days, but it is what it is.

• The memory feature. I can easily replace this with my phone’s photo app ability to do the same thing. I just liked it on Facebook because I could see all the comments/etc. Of course, often as happy as these made me, they upset me too so it’s a double edged sword.

Because I had basically been entirely off Facebook for a couple of years already except for using these 3 features, I won’t miss much else. Of course, any time I logged on to look at these 3 features, I got sucked in to things, which is why I knew I had to delete it altogether.

Now I am taking steps to delete Instagram too. That one will hurt more. I did their backup as well but it didn’t include what I wanted it to, so I’ve tried it again with a different selection of what to back up. If that doesn’t work it’ll take me longer to get off that app because I’ll have to manually back things up and oooooof that’ll be a chore. But a worthwhile one, I think.

I never intended my Substacks to be so centered around social media but it has become very clear that not only is that what I’m focused on right now personally, but also it’s what MANY of you are focused on too. So I’m sharing my journey.

Don’t worry; I still have a trip recap to share soon as well as other photography related posts. Lots of ideas. And soon I’ll have lots more time to dive into them.

I mentioned earlier that I had an idea about being more connected to folks. I was thinking I’d offer up coffee hours - I’d put out a scheduler and folks can come hang with me for coffee on weekday mornings at the studio. We’ll each bring our own coffee/tea/breakfast/etc. and just chat with no agenda for 30-40 min before I jump into my work. Obviously this would be free; just an ongoing way to catch up. Does that sound like something you’d be interested in? Let me know!

What I Loved this week:

• What can I do to feel lighter?

  Laurie Marbas, MD, MBA
  challenges women in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s to listen and forgive. It’s a great reminder.

• Niamh Regan on Spotify. A friend turned me onto her in their own newsletter and I am enjoying her music quite a bit.

• Killing Eve. I recently finished the series and it was a lot of fun. Some of the stories seemed to fizzle out for me, but I didn’t care because Jodie Comer was such a force to be reckoned with. (link is to IMDB because there are a number of streaming services that have it. I watched it on Netflix).

• Speaking of finishing things, I finished Onyx Storm! I liked it. There were parts that felt harder to follow in this one, just because there were so many minor characters to keep track of, but I am excited to see what’s to come. I do enjoy the world of Basgiath. Now I’m reading All’s Well by Mona Awad. I had started this before vacation but then a friend loaned me Onyx Storm and I wanted to give that back to her asap. Also, I wasn’t really into All’s Well so I was OK with pausing it and it wasn’t what I wanted to read on vacation. BUT. It’s getting better and I am really interested to see where this goes. Time will tell if it’s a let down.

• (With all this book talk, anyone interested in a low-key book club? In person meetings once a month? Let me know. I’d love to be in a book club again.)

• We get our milk delivered from our local dairy farm and they recently started offering Gammelgården Creamery’s skyr. Their blueberry and strawberry flavors are a delicious treat and so good for you! It’s pricey so it’s not an every day thing, but definitely a delight when there’s room in the budget!

That’s it for this week! Thanks for reading my friends!

-Kerry