Light patterns
The sun is finally out. I see it outside and it feels like a stranger is at the door. Is it real? A mirage? Is it darkness tricking me into thinking it’s warm enough to emerge and feel the grass beneath my feet again?
The winter was a humdinger. I know it’s not fully over yet, but the sun is creating patterns on my porch. I can see them through the slats of the window blinds. The doors to our porch have blinds on the windows. We have to keep the blinds down to keep the cats from howling all day because they just want to be outside basking in the sun. They, like me, can be easily tricked into thinking it’s basking time. Not yet, I tell them. Soon.
Still, the sunlight is there, creating patterns. One row of light, one row of shadow, on and on like a sideways ladder. A perfect allegory for life. Step into some light, step into some darkness, rinse and repeat forever and ever until you figure your life out despite the ladder. Hopefully, anyway.
Right now, it feels like we’ve been living in the shadows for a long time. Doom and gloom seem easily accessible in this shadowland; accessible and aplenty.
But, there are times when the light takes over and even lasts longer than the shadows and we can hold on till those moments come. It’s all about the direction you choose to face.
We know that the ice is melting. We know that we’re running out of room, time, space, all of it. It feels incredibly overwhelming and daunting. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by it I simply turn off. Being off social media has helped immensely but there is still so much to ingest every day. Even just making my daily five calls can burn me out because it feels so hopeless (and pointless, even though I’ve read it’s not at all pointless even when your leaders would absolutely vote the same way you do). I have long talks with Navy (my husband) about what the helllllll we can do. Friends lament over coffee and lunch. Bereft. That’s what everyone is feeling. Bereft.
Yep. It’s dark here in the shadows.
But, the light is there. And eventually as we continue on, the pattern will change. The light will shift. The time for basking is not yet here. But maybe someday it will be.
It’s a struggle this week. You’re not alone. If nowhere else, we must find the light in each other.
-Kerry
What I loved this week:
I read Sea Wife by Amity Gaige over the weekend. I couldn’t put it down. It was such a compelling read. I feel like I could see so much of myself in Juliet (main character) and loved imagining myself on a sailboat, escaping the world with my little family. Even when the going got tough. Great book. I am excited to read more by Gaige and already have another of her books on hold at the library.
I loved this collection of questions to ask your 4 year old. However, I think these can be asked of anyone of any age. Matter of fact, I think I might even ask myself these questions in my journal.
This is very important to watch. AI is helping so many scammers. Stay vigilant folks. (*I didn’t love this one per se, but felt I should share it.)
- reflects on how we should be aiming for a life that is ‘present driven, rather than purpose driven’. A great reminder.
As a person who absolutely wishes they lived in Europe (even before we were in the end times), this one by
resonated with me BIG TIME. They tried living like Europeans in the US (and failed miserably).
Just going to say it again for good measure: Hey folks. It’s hard out there right now. Let’s talk to each other to stay above water. I’m here if you ever feel like it’s too much. I’ll listen.
-Kerry
Still getting used to Substack, but just wanted to drop a note to say how much I enjoy your writing and your POV -- finding the light in each other, indeed!
Miss you -- hope all is well in your world.