Crosswords and Communications
Feels like a seismic shift.
It’s been about three months since I ditched (most) social media. Other than Substack (which sadly feels more and more like social media as the days pass), I do still have my business Instagram account, though I only check it at most once a day from my laptop and don’t post or interact. There are no social media apps on my phone. It is an entirely different life than I had 3 months ago where I was addicted to checking my accounts and seeing what people were posting. And it is GLORIOUS. If I am missing anything, I don’t care. Only twice have friends said, “oh right, you’re not on socials anymore” when it was assumed I knew something I didn’t. I am sure there’s information on there I would love to know. But I don’t NEED to know it and so it’s a win.
My head is already overflowing with my own to-do’s and ideas and thoughts. Having everyone else’s in there was too much. My personal life feels quieter, more grounded, and more focused. I’m very happy with this choice. Maybe it’s selfish, but I’m OK with that.
In the meantime, I’ve jumped back into my NYTimes games app. It’s the only game app I have and I like it because I know it’s making my brain work better than it did before. I have been playing many of the games there for a year or two, but I always avoided the BIG crossword. I just never felt present enough for it; felt like it was too much. I think I even doubted my intelligence. Well, now that I am able to focus more, I’m all in. The kids even get in on it with me and we have a blast trying to figure out the clues together. I have actually seen a marked improvement in my skills at the game, and that makes me feel like I’ve achieved something kind of great. Simple, but great. Plus, there’s the bonus of believing 100% that it’ll keep me from getting dementia like my mum, whether that’s true or not.
While my crossword skills are thriving and my brain is becoming less overwhelmed, I have also noted a decrease in communication. Since I’m “out of sight, out of mind” for so many people, I have been hearing less from friends. I am pretty good about keeping up with folks so I know when I reach out I’ll hear back and am not worried about my relationships faltering, but it is a marked difference from engaging with folks every day, often many times a day over shared posts. I miss these connections, but I also know the value in REAL connection is much better. Having folks over for dinner, or going for a walk, or having a coffee with someone at the studio - these are deeper connections that I am happy to invest in. Still, the quick ones on social media were important too and I miss them.
The world around us feels like it’s shifting at a high speed and then I shifted my own existence in big way at the same time. I feel as though I’m on the upside down part of a roller coaster, and nothing’s in the right place. But I know the ride will even out eventually, and even if I arrive at a different location than I started from because the world around me has changed, I know I’ll still be me and that these moves I’m making are helping me to become more connected to my truer self.
What about you? Have you been making any big changes lately? How’s your roller coaster treating you today?
What I Loved Lately:
Since my last post two weeks ago (hello and goodbye, school vacation), I read The Power of Parting by Eamon Dolan. This was a hard read but a good one, and I appreciated Dolan’s style and approach to the subject. I learned a lot from it and it gave me some peace. If you’re dealing with family estrangement in any way, I recommend it.
I have started The Bee Sting by Paul Murray. I’m happy to be back in a novel after the above book, and so far it’s been interesting. I have no idea where it’s going and I love that.
- wrote this poem, and explains it in more detail here. I absolutely adore it. Let’s keep cheering our weirdo selves on.
As I mentioned, there are a lot of seismic shifts happening in the world. I found this post, written by Australian writer
, really excellent on the subject of preparations for whatever big thing comes next.You know I love to read and I found this list of Gentle Books to be a great one, assembled by
. Maybe you’ll find something perfect on there.“It’s playtime, dammit!” Defiant Joy for the win! Thanks for this post,
My post above is about how much better my life is without social media and endless scrolling. And I started using it after my brain was fully developed. The harm it causes on our children is extreme and as parents we need to step in to keep our children safe. Tik Tok is Harming Children at an Industrial Scale by Jonathan Haidt and
is an incredibly important read. If it makes you feel more empowered to keep social media out of your children’s hands, know that we do it here in this house. You won’t be alone. And if your kids need real kids to play with, let me know.Seismic shifts come from burnout; first you have a breakdown, knowing things have to change. But then, beautifully, you have a rebirth. This post about “becoming her again” by
is beautiful. ““I think I’m ready to come back to life… but gently.” Let’s all come back gently.What have you been watching lately? I obsessively binged The Pit on HBO Max; it was SO SO GOOD. Now I’ve started Shrinking on AppleTV and it’s also fantastic. Of course, I could watch Harrison Ford sit still so anything with him in it captivates me. He’s just so damn funny. Navy (husband) and I just finished the newest season of Wheel of Time on Prime. It felt way too short and a little rushed. What did you think?
with gentleness,
Kerry